Exhausted.

Today started badly and then went into a spiral from which there has been no escape. Rama resents my going to the gym early in the morning. (I go at 6 because she is still in bed and sleepy so that the chances of something going wrong are limited.) when I got home she was reading and quietly ignored me. OK, fair enough, but then there began the pitying complaints about pain and the accusations that I was responsible because I went out.
We had a busy morning schedule: had to be at the Strong clinic by 10 so showering, dressing etc needs to move at a pace. I could see Rama internalizing all her resentments and tension as she so often does. There is no way around this state of mind so I ignore it. Result: on the way to the hospital Rama was car sick, throwing up all over her shirt. Luckily the hospital gave us a gown and she completed her program commendably. I got to clean vomit and deodorise a smelly car! By the time we came home the black cloud still hadn't lifted but we ate lunch peacefully.
By the afternoon Rama was loudly complaining about pain and not listening to anything that I said. We went to the doctor who increased her pain medication patch and referred her to a pain clinic. Again, at home Rama could best be described as howling and angry. I couldn't cope any longer and left her in the lounge to howl while went the other end of the house and shut the door.
After a few loud yells she settled down and dozed. Later I told her that I wasn't angry, just exhausted and couldn't cope anymore. She understood that but she is still intensely unhappy and discontented. I'm wondering if she is suffering from depression because it seems that some of the tears are pain induced but others are not.
Got her to bed and dozing at 9 and I hope that she has extended  periods of rest and doesn't get up every 20-40 mins to go the toilet as she did last night.